Have you ever felt an intense fear when trying to share an opinion with your colleagues?
Or
Wanting to stand up for what you believe is the right decision or action to take but then were worried others would judge or criticize your opinion?
I for one have been in both situations while I was working in the corporate world. At one point the team I was in, anyone who had a strong opinion was asked to leave. This created a fear-based environment and one of the main reasons I left.
It has become common in our society to have dominator hierarchies. This is where the leaders are not questioned and the employees follow the orders.
I have now found that by allowing myself to be vulnerable by sharing without the fear of being criticized, it has created connections with others that are enduring and authentic.
Let us have a further look into this misconception of vulnerability:
‘Vulnerability is defined by the Oxford dictionary as ‘the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.’
In my past work situation, there was a vulnerability created in the team. We feared the possibility of being harmed, by losing our jobs which would lead to financial difficulties.
The leaders controlled the team by ensuring we followed their lead, even if it was the wrong thing to do. For me this is the negative side of vulnerability, where it is manipulated to control others.
Leveraging the good side of vulnerability
On the other hand, if we genuinely want to grow and transcend our current situations, being vulnerable is what we need to be.
Once I left my job last year (2020) at the beginning of the global COVID-19 pandemic. I felt fully exposed and vulnerable to my new reality. I was in fact fully feeling the emotions of the past and fearful of the future.
The key for me to embrace my vulnerability was exposing myself to feeling what I was going through. The next step was sharing these feelings openly and honestly with others. I started with my husband, then my mother and eventually I was able to express feelings within my community.
It was through this process of sharing my rawness, my guilt, and my shame that others were able to relate to me. This has created relationships that have a solid foundation and are enduring day-by-day. I now experience an authentic and mutual understanding with the people I am connected to for business purposes. These relationships are bringing some of the greatest joy in my life.
We all go through similar struggles and life will always challenge us, but keeping our true feelings locked in and bottled up, will only wear us down.
Expressing these feeling is normal and experienced by others throughout the world. By doing this we share our true self with others. When we hide these feelings, we are showing others a façade of who we are.
‘Being vulnerable is being authentic.’
Namita Buerkle
Living in vulnerability
Looking back, if I were to have stood up for what I believed in at work, I would have taken the risk of being asked to leave. In retrospect, this would have meant leaving with more honor and dignity as I would have embraced my authentic self. I believe I would have felt less guilt and shame by having left on my own free will. In reality, I left embracing the negative side of vulnerability and avoiding the harm that I feared would have come to me.
Now vulnerability is embraced in my daily life. I allow my feelings to be and express them openly. It has now created a life of calmness and clarity because I am finally being true to myself.
I was able to acknowledge and express my vulnerability when I re-engaged in personal transformation programs and began loving myself again. I learned from amazing teachers such Vishen Lakhiani, Marisa Peer, Reverend Michael Beckwith, the late Barbara Marx Hubbard, Ken Wilber, Jim Kwik and others.
If you would like to learn how to become your most authentic self then be sure to reach out to my friend, Nolan at StraightTalkWithNolan. He is an incredible transformational coach with years of experience. He guides you to become the best version of yourself, through his program #bethebestversionofyourself
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